In "I was Told There'd be Cake" by Sloane Crosley, Crosley lets the reader see the world through her complete, unabridged eyes. She shows us what she really thinks, not what she would just say. Simply writing the book out was probably very satisfactory, since I'm sure it would be great to express how you really feel. However, actually publishing the book is, in my opinion, something very dangerous or risky to do. If I were Sloane, all that would be on my mind is wondering whether people would approve of what I'm writing, or if someone would be upset that I am writing about them. I hope that someday I'll have the courage to publish a book like "I was Told There'd be Cake". But even if I do summon up the courage, I know I can count on society thrashing my confidence immediately.This only makes me wonder who decides what is acceptable, and if the can change.
In many cases, the people you see everyday shape what you share with the world. In her essay The Pony Problem, Crosley writes how she, on instinct, hints to each boyfriend that she wants a pet pony. They think of this as something crazy and out of the blue, not knowing that this is her "norm". She now has a drawer full of toy ponies that she hates, but loves at the same time. For the boyfriend, who has no reason to think otherwise, this pony scene is comedic. He is glad that she shared this funny moment with him. But had he known that this happened with every boyfriend, that Crosley had a drawer full of these toys, he would have been undoubtedly horrified. In this case, even if Crosley decides that she wants her boyfriends to know about her ponies, they would probably be scared off. They wouldn't want to hear about it, so they simply wouldn't.
In other cases, we decide what we share with the world. For example, in The Ursula Cookie, Crosley hates her boss. She absolutely despises everything she does. In this situation, the boss, Ursula has the power. It doesn't matter to her what her assistant likes, because she can simply get a new one. Feeling pretty powerless, Crosley chooses to silently suffer rather than confront her boss and lose her job. While I don't think that Crosley handled this in the most efficient way, I probably would have done something similar if I were in her shoes.
To be honest, I'm really not sure who is allowed to say what is acceptable in a society. Though it is such a relief to be able to speak anything on your mind, others may not want to hear it. And until we reach this dream society, there will still be people judging you. If they knew all of your deepest thoughts, they would only use it against you. We have to consider if it is really worth being completely open, knowing the doubts. Also, while it may be nice for one person to speak their mind, it would turn into a dictatorship if we decided something based on one person's wants.
This is a great post, Marya! The author chose an interesting way to write a book and to share her ideas. This book sounds like it could be her autobiography, but not as specific. I think that how people even think like, oh is this considered "acceptable" or not, is stupid. People should be able to speak their own minds without being ridiculed.
ReplyDeleteI think that we as a human race has complicated living more than necessary. Because of our lazy qualities, humans feel the need to make things easier, even if it is a hard process to achieve. Because of personality traits such as greed and haughtiness, competition has evolved a once simple living into what we have today. Factories, towers, feuds, and pollution-- we are slowly using up our resources. In our history we have faced racism, discrimination and hate. Why has it come to this? We could still be living like the Native Americans before us. Who gave the Europeans the right to take over ancient civilizations? Personally, a lot of the things we practice today are not acceptable, simple things such as arguing and competing and feeling hatred. Why can't people be who they are? Why do problems arise from the simplest of things? Why can't humans learn acceptance? Great post Marya!!
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing Marya! I completely agree that society has an intricate way of dealing with personal issues and sometimes it is difficult to speak your own mind because of others judging. There are some things I really want to say but I know that if I did, people would immediately jump to conclusions and get angry.
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a book you've read Marya! I think you're completely right in our society it's hard to please everyone. The protagonist seems to be a very strong willed and interesting. People are very complicated and everyone thinks differently. I think it's sort of interesting to see how everyone thinks. Also how people are weird we all have that one secret we keep and tell no one or maybe one other person knows about it. People are judged from the outside and people may think they know you so well but then there's another layer under the outer layer and another underneath. We are are quite complex. It's interesting that the book is an essay form and something I may read sometime soon.
ReplyDeletegood job!